Morning Breakfast Reintegration

Massive destruction of the absolutisms of everyday life exposes the inescapable contingency of existence on a universe that is random and unpredictable and in which no safety or continuity of being can be assured. Stolorow, p. 16.

(Charlotte and her partner Evan are getting their morning started in their apartment. The couple have a 9 month old baby girl that they are feeding while also readying themselves for work and school. The family sits and moves from their breakfast table and kitchen completing various tasks for the day.)

Charlotte: Hey Evan, do you know remember where the diaper bag is?

Evan:                  No.

Charlotte:          Can you help me find it please?  I have to get going to work and drop off Sara at the sitter’s.

Evan:                  (No response – continues searching for lost phone)

Charlotte:           Evan, can you help me find it please? 

(The wrinkles in and around Evan’s eyes form out of muscle memory.  The winkles assume the position.  Evan’s static gaze contrasts to the internal surge.  That surge, tension, feels beyond comprehension and understanding and the feelings become the reality.)

Evan:                 What!? (What the fuck!?  Can you not figure shit out for yourself!?)

Charlotte:           Nevermind.  I’ll just look myself. (Where the hell did that come from?  I just asked for your help with the diapers.)

Evan:                  What!?  I offered to help. What can I help with!?  (Goddamnit! Sara’s throwing shit all over, Jennifer can’t do for herself, and where in the fuck is my phone?  Fuck this morning.)

Charlotte:           What the hell is wrong with you? [said silently underbreath] (WOW!  Where did that come from? How come he always blows up like that?)

Stolorow’s statements highlight the devastating, ever-pervasive and complex effects of trauma. The snapshot of Evan and Charlotte’s morning interaction provides a glimpse into the rippling effects of trauma within their relationship. The movement of bodies and expression through voice and words shows only one part of their experiences, yet the internal dynamics within the partnership show another story. 

The “Massive destruction of the absolutisms of everyday life…”. 

exposes the inescapable contingency of existence on a universe

random and unpredictable

no safety or continuity